The Bull and Bear

Now this is a classy schnitzel. Not massive, but deceptively thick and quite tasty. The plate is neatly divided into schnitzel, chips and salad sections, and everything is to my satisfaction. There’s good variety in the salad, the chips are fantastic, and the schnitzel is delicious. For once, the chips aren’t stuffed underneath.

$20 is a bit to pay, but the venue is to my liking, a classy little establishment hidden away under King William Street. Not a bad place for a lunchtime or post-work schnitty and a drink.

The verdict: Not huge, but this is still a fine meal.

Taste: 4.5/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 3/5, Sides: 4.5/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 78%

The Navigator’s Inn, Port Lincoln

I arrived at the hotel at night after a whole day’s driving. I was tired, I was hungry, and the only other option for dinner was a seedy looking takeaway shop across the road. And as I checked in, I was informed that it was schnitzel night at the hotel restaurant downstairs.

Well, who am I to resist fate? I made my order, dumped my bags in my room, then came back to get a taste of Port Lincoln’s schnitzel offerings.

Let’s just say, I hope there are better schnitzels elsewhere in Port Lincoln. This one was real average. For $12 I guess I couldn’t really have asked for too much – and, to be fair, the chips, gravy and salad were decent. But there was very little meat in the schnitzel.

The verdict: Not a bad little inn to stay at, and the restaurant was quite nice. Maybe I’ll go on steak night next time though…

Taste: 2.5/5, Size: 2/5, Value: 3/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 60%

The Kings Head

$10 schnitzels on Tuesday seemed like too good an offer to refuse – although it turns out you do need to buy a drink as well. The beauty of such a cheap meal is that even if it turns out to be a disappointment, at least you haven’t wasted a huge amount of money on it.

I wouldn’t exactly call this a disappointment – the chips and salad were actually terrific, and the restaurant itself is good quality – very proudly South Australian. However, the schnitty was more crumbing than meat – the photo below probably makes it seem a bit thicker than it really was.

Look, for ten bucks I couldn’t complain at all – it was a pretty good feed overall. I’ll give it another go sometime – hopefully there’ll be more chicken and less breadcrumbs next time.

The verdict: Good sides, average schnitty – pretty cheap feed though.

Taste: 3/5, Size: 2.5/5, Value: 3.5/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 68%

The Woolshed on Hindley

Now this was a bit of a surprise. I know you can’t judge a book by its cover, but when I found out that the Woolshed does $10 schnitzels, the word “quality” did not immediately come to mind. I was expecting, at best, a shrivelled, overcooked, deep-fried disgrace of a schnitzel, with a spattering of oven fries shoved underneath and a miserable salad thrown in for good measure.

What we got served up with, however, far exceeded my low expectations. The schnitzel was quite thick, and tasted pretty damn good (real chicken – who would’ve thought?). The chips were shoved underneath as expected, but were quite nice. And the salad was very generous, with a delicious honey-mustard dressing. For ten bucks, this is an absolute steal!

The Woolshed is actually a pretty good place to eat (albeit probably better at 6pm on a Thursday night than 10pm on a Saturday night) – gotta love smashing a good feed in an outback-themed pub.

I know happy endings on Hindley Street aren’t unusual, but this is one that anyone can enjoy!

The verdict: Seriously, get on this.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 4.5/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 80%

The Maid and Magpie

At $18.90 ($3 extra for a parmi), you’re getting to the stage where you expect to be getting a pretty good schnitzel. And this one certainly didn’t disappoint. The maid schnitties get all of the bare essentials right – nice and thick, tender meat, crisp coating, good chips, thick gravy and a decent salad.

It wasn’t good to the point of being extraordinary, but this was a meal I would happily eat any day of the week. It ticked all the boxes and didn’t leave me feeling violated and overfed afterwards. I could be fussy and say that perhaps the salad should have come in a separate bowl, or complain that some of the chips were stuffed under the schnitty, but I feel that would be a bit unfair. It was a good meal, and one I’d certainly recommend.

The Maid and Magpie is a ripper of a location as well. The eastern suburbs have some excellent pubs, and this place is certainly right up there. Good service, nice architecture, plenty of space, quality food – do yourself a favour and get down there.

The verdict: Good pub, good schnitty. Not the cheapest one going around, but well worth it.

Taste: 4.5/5, Size: 4/5, Value: 3.5/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4.5/5
Overall: 82%

Café Fellini

A few things were wrong right from the start here. Firstly the price - $23.90. Really? Secondly, the chicken parmi was the only option – no beef, no gravy, no Dianne sauce – only a chicken parmi. And when I asked for one without cheese, It arrived on my table adorned with a mountain of parmesan (which I’m pretty sure is a type of cheese) on top.

Still, enough negatives – this was actually quite a nice feed. A thick, tender piece of breast chicken, a decent slice of ham, and a good dollop of nap sauce. A generous salad, and a massive serve of chips (although I tend to prefer thicker chips rather than fries) complemented the schnitty nicely. The meal was quite satisfying, although probably not worthy of such a hefty price-tag. Value for money was definitely the downer in this case.

Nice restaurant as well – probably the sort of place you’d go more for a pasta meal or a wood oven pizza followed by a coffee, but overall it was a pretty good experience.

The verdict: Steep price, but not a bad meal.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 1.5/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 68%

Birkley’s Tavern

This place is officially my new pre-footy dinner venue (for the next fourteen months while games are still being played at Aami Stadium). Fifteen dollar schnitties and a free buffet on the side – who could say no to that? Given that the food at the buffet was pretty good and the chips were also to a good standard, sides were always going to rate pretty highly. And although it wasn’t the highest quality schnitty of all time (this probably isn’t the place to go on a first date, unless your girl is a mad keen Crows fan and you’re on the way to the game), it was an adequately filling & palatable feed.

Not the most outstanding of venues, but certainly nothing to complain about.

The verdict: If you’re off to the footy tonight, why not smash a schnitty here first?

Taste: 3.5/5, Size: 3/5, Value: 4.5/5, Sides: 4.5/5, Dining Experience: 3.5/5
Overall: 76%

The Britannia Hotel

Apart from having to drive through that ridiculous roundabout to get in here (not to mention the heavy emphasis on pokies and horse-race betting), this place provides an enjoyable experience for the seasoned schnitzel-eater. Actually, it’s a pretty good spot for pub meals in general. Every night there seems to be a special on something, whether it’s schnitzel, steak, squid or whatever else. And the place itself is decent. The front bar and restaurant section has a good feel to it, there’s outdoor seating and pretty much everything you’d really want in a pub.

We made a rookie error by missing Wednesday ($7.50 schnitzel day) and coming on Thursday instead. Pays to do your homework, I guess. Still, for only $15 (I think) we got what I would rate as a pretty decent meal. But when the waiter assured us that the Wednesday schnitzels were equally as good, we knew that a return visit was non-negotiable.

And so round two began.

On my next free Wednesday, I ventured back to the Britannia. And for $7.50 (you don’t even have to get a drink with it) you’re unlikely to ever have a better schnitty. It was a generous size, quite tender, very meaty and at least as good as the one I’d had on the previous occasion. The salad was reasonable as well, given the low cost. And while there were less chips than last time (and the gravy was pretty average), this is definitely a meal deal to take advantage of.

The verdict: Wednesday is the day.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 5/5, Sides: 3/5, Dining Experience: 4/5 (Based on Wednesday special)

Overall: 78% (probably more like 72% any other day)

The Queens Head

The Queens Head is one of several pubs in North Adelaide which looks small and seedy from the outside, but is fantastic once you walk inside. You definitely feel like a classy member of society eating in a place like this.

The quality of the schnitzels also turned out to be quite good. Thick, moist, very tasty. Chips were quite nice, although unfortunately hidden under the schnitty. Salad was pretty much all lettuce, but at least they were generous with it… at least I feel healthier eating a meal with so much green in it!

At $16.90, the price was certainly not exorbitant, and I feel as though I got value for money. Great place to grab a feed and watch friday night footy!

The verdict: Pretty good meal that one… maybe chuck a bit more tomato in the salad though?

Taste: 4.5/5, Size: 4/5, Value: 3.5/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 78%

The General Havelock

Two parmies and two pints for $24 on Thursdays and Saturdays was always going to be too great a temptation to resist. And my resistance came crashing down in delicious style. Schnitzel lovers, this is definitely one to try. The Havie schnitty rates up there with the best of them. It’s very thick, has a top-notch crumbing, and tastes amazing. You get a good serving of gravy, a healthy (I use the term loosely) serving of chips, and the salad is nothing to sneeze at.

Neither quantity nor quality has been denied, and the price-tag would catch the eye of any keen bargain-hunter. At that price, you’re effectively paying six bucks for a quality schnitty, delicious (and numerous) chips and a damn good salad on the side. The size of the schnitty (and the overall meal) is enough to satisfy the most ravenous of hungers, without leaving me feeling like I need to have a siesta. A happy medium if ever there was one.

The Havie is a decent pub as well – located on the eastern side of town, with good ambience both in the bar and the restaurant. A great place to eat, drink, watch some sport and catch up with mates. I’ll definitely be back.

The verdict: Hard to fault.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 4/5, Value: 5/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 84%

The Ed, Mitcham

Twelve dollars for a parmi and a pint? Don’t mind if I do! You can make the most of this offer every day of the week at the front bar at the Ed. And when you consider that the schnitzel and chips are pretty good and are accompanied by a fancy greek salad and a bread roll, it would be controversial not to award five stars for value.

The schnitzel is a reasonable size and thickness – it is a little dry, but there’s a veritable ocean of gravy to compensate. Overall, it’s a belter of a feed for twelve bucks.

The front bar certainly isn’t the most glamorous place to smash a feed, but the Ed has quite possibly the best beer garden in all of Adelaide, so it’s a great place to spend an evening after your meal.

The verdict: Top notch value, definitely glad we came.

Taste: 3/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 5/5, Sides: 4.5/5, Dining Experience: 3/5
Overall: 76%

Piatto (on Rundle Street)

There’s nothing like a late-night schnitzel after an evening at the cinema. It’s ten o’clock, I haven’t eaten dinner, and I’m wandering around with a mate (just casually throwing that in there so that people don’t think I go to the movies on my own. I don’t. Really.) seeing what Rundle Street has to offer us. At the Exeter, we are told that they only do curries on Wednesdays. It’s the second time I’ve tried for a schnitzel there and been knocked back. I silently promise myself to never go there again.

So as we walk along the street, tummies rumbling in unison, we come across a semi-fancy (does that description even make sense?) looking Italian restaurant. Or was it more like a café? Or was it somewhere in that spectrum of eatery where it’s neither a restaurant nor a café, but somewhere in the middle? Who knows. Suffice to say, anything that had a chicken schnitzel on the menu was gonna be good enough at that point in time.

The café/restaurant had a nice atmosphere inside, and was quite well presented. The service was friendly and efficient, although I guess at that time of night there wasn’t the sort of mad rush that brings out the worst in waitresses. Definitely a nice place to pop in to for a coffee or dessert in the evening.

What I was served up with looked more like battered fish than a chicken schnitzel. It tasted a little that way as well, although it was certainly still palatable. However, it was about as processed as a schnitzel can get, and not at all impressive in size. There was a generous serving of chips, of excellent size and texture, but unsalted. Also, there was no salad with the meal. I realise the salad isn’t the thing that makes the meal, but it is nice to have a bit of roughage; something healthy on your plate to make you feel like you’re not completely violating your body.

The gravy that I asked for never arrived, but I guess everyone makes mistakes.

My mate’s parmi topping was to his liking, with a delicious tomato sauce and a generous serving of cheese. At $16.90 ($19.90 for a parmi) it wasn’t great value, and just a few small changes could have made this meal so much better. Oh well, the search for the elusive perfect schnitzel continues…

The Verdict: Not too bad considering the heavily processed nature of the meal. Maybe some salt on my chips next time though? And a salad? Maybe a bigger schnitzel too?

Taste 3/5, Size 2.5/5, Value 2.5/5, Sides 2.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 58%

Marcellina’s

Oh, the highs and lows of schnitzel reviewing. So many times I’ve had high expectations shattered, and so many times my low expectations have proved unwarranted. Today, the latter occurred. Marcellina’s is a pizza & pasta bar chain in Adelaide, which conveniently also offers schnitzel on the menu. We walk in, and the place is pretty much your token Hindley Street pizza joint. My expectations are low. We are then shown out the back by our waiter (who, ironically, is Indian), where there is a very nice restaurant set-up, which could seat about 100 people. The contrast in classiness between the front and back of Marcellina’s could hardly be sharper.

My schnitzel arrives, and my low hopes are immediately lifted. There is so much food, I can barely see the plate. The salad is a ripper, there are heaps of chips, and the schnitty is also a respectable size (although quite thin). Despite not being the thickest specimen going around, the taste is nothing to sneeze at - it definitely hasn’t just been processed and deep-fried. The crumbing has been done well, and although it’s a little dry inside, I’m certainly not complaining. The gravy is right on the money (and served separately – hooray!), and the chips can’t really be faulted. For $19.80 (an extra dollar for parmi) I would expect something pretty good, and I reckon I’ve got just that.

The Verdict: If pizza doesn’t rock your boat, and you’re unfortunate enough to find yourself in a pizza bar, give this schnitty a go.

Taste 4/5, Size 3/5, Value 3/5, Sides 4.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 74%

The Bridgewater Old Mill

It’s always nice eating out in the Adelaide Hills – I’m so rarely disappointed with the quality of food in the restaurants up this way, and it’s just brilliant to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and suburbs. Tonight’s venue (built on the site of an old mill, funnily enough) was the location of yet another good night out.

The Old Mill is your typical Hills pub, with bar, restaurant, outdoor seating, and a comfortable mix of visitors to Bridgewater and locals grazing at the old watering hole. There seems to be a decent selection of food on the menu, ranging from pub classics to some more elegant offerings. Screw the fancy stuff, I already know what I’m getting!

The schnitzel arrives at the table with a generous serving of gravy, a good serving of thick (and delicious) chips, and a hearty salad on the side. The schnitzel is, ironically, the only real disappointment. It’s not bad, but not brilliant – a little thin, and more than a little processed (it tastes eerily similar to oven-baked fish fingers – probably not a good thing, right?). Don’t get me wrong, it still tastes alright, and I didn’t leave the restaurant regretting parting ways with my $17. It just didn’t blow me away, that’s all.

Taste: 3.5/5, Size: 3/5, Value: 3/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 70%

The Jetty Bar, Glenelg

Situated on vibrant Jetty Road, only a short stroll from Glenelg Beach, the Jetty Bar is the perfect location for a beer and a schnitty on a warm summer’s day. Unfortunately, the schnitzels themselves are nothing to rave about. At $16 (+$1 for gravy, $2 for parmi) you expect something reasonable, but I was disappointed with what I received. If the schnitzel on my plate looks small, also take into consideration that it was about 80% crumbing, which was completely soaked in the gravy. The gravy was ok, albeit a little too watery. The chips were pretty good, although there weren’t an awful lot. The taste wasn’t particularly satisfying – not surprising, given that I was essentially eating fried dough soaked in gravy. Even the little meat that there was didn’t exactly taste brilliant. Presentation-wise, they did themselves no favours by serving up a tiny meal on a massive plate.

On the positive side, the restaurant had a salad bar, the service was quite good, and my mate’s parmi had a pretty generous helping of cheese. The restaurant had quite a nice, classy feel to it, but the bar looked like a pretty good place to catch up with mates over a beer on a hot summer’s day.

The Verdict: Maybe I’ll just stick with ice cream at the beach next time…

Taste 2.5/5, Size 2/5, Value 2.5/5, Sides 3.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 58%

The Cumberland Arms

http://www.thecumby.com.au/

The Cumby is a pretty unpretentious place as pubs go. It’s not a classy joint, nor does it pretend to be. I can imagine that it’s a fairly seedy place to be on a Saturday night. But on a Friday arvo, it’s a peaceful, decent, laidback location for an after-work schnitty. The staff are very friendly, the service is excellent, the meals are prepared quickly (but not suspiciously quickly), the music level is just right.

The price is right as well. The menu tells us that a schnitzel will cost us fourteen dollars. Pretty reasonable to say the least. When we order our meals, however, we are informed that schnitzels and parmis cost only $8 if you also buy a drink. It wasn’t clear whether this was just a Friday deal, or a Happy Hour special or whatever else, but the bottom line is that I ended up with a schnitzel and a lemonade for $11.50. Life is good. Life gets better when the schnitzel actually turns out to be pretty good. The crumbing is nice and crispy, not falling off the meat. The schnitty is of decent thickness and quite tasty, albeit certainly not quite up there with the best we’ve tasted. The salad is respectable, the gravy is rich and generously portioned, and the chips are crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside – there is a debate between those of us seated at the table as to what makes a good chip. Since I’m writing the review, I’m saying that the chips here are good. Personally I prefer thicker chips to shoestring fries, and that’s what we were served up here.

The Canadian schnitzel, which has a bacon, avocado and cheese topping, for an additional $4, is also worth a look for the hungry individual.

So while we’ve certainly seen bigger and tasted better, the value for money offered at the Cumby is pretty hard to top. The west end of Waymouth Street doesn’t have an awful lot going for it, but eight dollar schnitties and parmis is a good incentive to head that way.

The Verdict: The best value schnitzel we’ve encountered. For $8 (or even for $14), it can’t be faulted.

Taste 4/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 5/5, Sides 3.5/5, Experience 3.5/5
Total 78%

Mawson Lakes Hotel

The ‘Mawson Mega’, as the locals have christened it, is apparently a pretty big deal. When I mentioned matter-of-factly to one such local that I was going to try the Mawson Lakes Hotel, his eyes lit up. “Gonna give the Mawson Mega a go?” he asked. “Yeh, thought I might,” was my response, “Is it any good?” I was informed that it was quite sizeable, comparable to an alehouse schnitty, although inferior in quality. So I rocked up to the hotel the next day, expecting to at least get my fill if nothing else. The pleasant surprise of a salad bar was followed by the disappointment when my meal arrived. It was not one massive schnitzel, but simply two moderately large schnitzels. Very thin though. And, as I was to discover, the taste was a bit of a let-down. Very little flavour, and quite a low meat-to-crumb ratio. On my left, Ben – quite a schnitzel lover himself – ate the first of his two schnitzels and declared that he didn’t want to finish it, it was so bad. Four people ordered the mega, and I was the only one to finish mine. It was only pride that made me eat the whole thing, and yet I felt ashamed as I finished the last mouthful. I felt filthy, and not in a good way. No, this was the worst kind of filthy – the bad kind.

I cannot remember ever eating at a restaurant where every single person at the table rated the quality of the food so low. And at $21.90 for a chicken schnitzel with gravy, even the presence of a salad bar could not ensure that good value for money was given. The chips were exactly like you would get from KFC, which I was quite satisfied with. However, since the schnitzel had been placed on top of the chips, they were soggy upon arrival. The restaurant was quiet when we arrived, but had quickly filled up with bogans as time passed (we made a mistake coming during a Port game). Overall, not an experience to be repeated. We were obliged to rate it though, since it’s clearly got a pretty high profile as Adelaide schnitzels go.

Funnily enough, mates of ours went to the Mawson the week after we did, and raved about it. So maybe we just got the chef on a bad day? Maybe the chickens had just been fed the wrong stuff that week? Who knows? But we can only rate based on what we see with our eyes and taste with our tongues, and today we were let down.

The Verdict: A pretty low quality schnitzel – the clearest case so far of quality being sacrificed by quantity. I never thought I’d say this, but the thought of schnitzel right now actually makes me sick.

Taste: 2/5, Size: 4.5/5, Value: 2.5/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 2.5/5
Overall: 60%

The Colonist

The Colonist is located on the Parade in Norwood, so you would expect the atmosphere to be quite lively. And given that it was the last working day before Christmas for many people, it was no surprise to see the bar almost overflowing with drunken revellers, celebrating the arrival of the silly season. Normally I would have no problem with a loud, sleazy pub, but this was my Mum’s birthday dinner. I silently hoped that the restaurant would be a bit nicer. Fortunately it turned out to be quite a classy place – much quieter than the bar, and with quite an intimate feel to it. The two waitresses were very polite and extremely helpful, which well and truly made up for having to walk through the seedy bar to get to our table.

The menu was full of snooty choices, with a lot of French words that I can’t pronounce. But they still had schnitzel on the menu, so I didn’t have to waste any time choosing between pan-fried quail and twice-cooked pork belly. The schnitzel ended up being $23 or so once gravy and salad had been added to the bill, which was definitely at the higher end of the price spectrum.

The schnitzel was a reasonable size – certainly the thickness was nothing to complain about. It was saturated in gravy, which made the crumbing a little soggy, but it was still quite tasty overall. The Asian salad on the side was quite unique, consisting of lettuce, red cabbage, bean shoots and a Thai dressing. The chips were ok, but unfortunately had been smothered under the schnitzel. Poor form. It’s not as though there was no room on the plate to have them separate.

Overall the quality of the meal was quite good, and the service was magnificent. The portion size was just right in terms of making me feel satisfied, not sick. However, the meal was a little too heavy on the wallet for my liking.

The Verdict: Pretty damn nice, but pretty damn expensive.

Taste 4/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 2/5, Sides 3/5, Experience 4/5
Total 66%

Maid of Auckland

www.maidofauckland.com.au

The scene of tonight’s review was the Maid of Auckland on South Road. For a place with pokies and a decent beer garden, the Maid actually has quite a high-class menu. The schnitzels were a little pricier than I expected at $19, although that price does include the choice of a range of sauces and parmi toppings. The venue is pretty decent – ideal for a few quiet drinks and a meal on a weeknight. The pokies are nicely hidden around the corner, meaning that I don’t have to watch gambling addicts pouring their savings into slot machines while I smash my schnitty. Still, the presence of pokies always ruins the experience somewhat. Just dampens the mood, I guess. But the staff are quite friendly, and we receive complimentary bread rolls – always a nice touch.

The schnitzels arrive, and they look good. Not enormous, but a decent size, and the crumbing texture is superb. The taste leaves me a little unsatisfied though – the chicken is quite dry, and has been heavily battered. The gravy is spot on though, and they have provided a reasonable salad. The two common sins, unfortunately, are both on show tonight: the chips (which, to be fair, are pretty nice) are stuffed under the schnitty, and the gravy has already been poured on. But I’m hungry, and I’m willing to let these things slide.

The dryness of the meat is the main weakness in what is a solid – but not spectacular – meal. The $19 price tag is probably a bit steep too. Although to be fair, the meat is unprocessed and the herbed crumbing is top shelf, so they’ve obviously put some effort into this schnitty.

My two dining partners have opted for parmis, and are happy with the toppings provided. Interestingly enough, a taste and visual comparison reveals that the beef schnitty is actually thicker and moister than the chicken. I never thought I’d see the day.

The Verdict: A satisfying meal, although a tad dry.

Taste 3/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 3/5, Sides 3.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 68%

Café Palazzo

http://cafepalazzo.net.au/

As random schnitzel reviews go, this is one for the ages. I watched an Indian man sitting in an Italian restaurant in Australia, eating a food that originated in Austria. A real win for globalisation, I must say. And not a bad schnitzel either, according to Pratik.

Pratik is an interesting fella. He’s a ‘vegetarian’, but he eats chicken. Anyway, who am I to judge? The guy seems to have a pretty discerning palate, so this seems like a good chance for a review. The schnitzel costs $18.50, plus an extra couple of bucks for some gravy (Pratik loves mushroom gravy but hates mushrooms, so he pours the gravy all over his schnitty, then picks out all the mushrooms. So as near as I can tell, his sauce is basically cream and flour. Still, he seems to enjoy it.). The schnitty is nice and thick. Quite moist and tasty, my Indian friend (he is actually my friend – I don’t just walk up to random ethnic people in restaurants and quiz them on the quality of their food) informs me. It comes with a pretty decent salad, and the chips are quite nice as well (the one I managed to steal, anyway), although a touch light on the salt.

Palazzo is at the northern end of O’ Connell Street, North Adelaide. I have to say, there have been some good schnitties in this neck of the woods, and the tradition seems to be continuing. A little pricey, but Palazzo certainly delivers a quality schnitzel. And it’s a very nice place to sit and eat as well, I must say. Good marks for ambience. The perfect place to eat before heading across the road to Piccadilly cinema.

The Verdict: A tad pricey, but a fine schnitzel.

Taste 4/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 3/5, Sides 3.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 72%

Cafe Brunelli

www.cafebrunelli.com.au

Another post-movie schnitzel adventure on Rundle Street sees us end up at Brunelli’s, an Italian restaurant near the western end. It’s a nice place to go, whether for a meal or just for some late-night coffee and dessert. The internal timber décor gives the place quite an authentic feel, while the meals and service tend to be pretty good. But $23.90 for a chicken schnitty seems a little steep…

To be fair though, a fair bit of effort has gone into this meal. As far as the parmi goes, they certainly haven’t skimped on the cheese or nap sauce, and the salad is quite extravagant. Perhaps a little too much so – the salad dressing has managed to infiltrate into the chips and salad, making everything soggy. Maybe serving it separately would have been the way to go. The chips themselves are a little disappointing – not hugely flavoursome. I suppose the Italians aren’t really well known for their chips.

The schnitzel is a reasonable thickness, although probably not large enough to justify the price-tag. The taste is perhaps a touch bland, although it’s still an enjoyable meal. Rarely do I have to force myself to finish a schnitty. Overall though, I feel like a little too much effort went into the salad, while the more important parts of the meal were neglected.

The Verdict: A nice venue. A great salad (if you don’t mind fetta). An ok schnitzel. A hefty price.

Taste 3.5/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 2/5, Sides 4/5, Experience 4/5
Total 68%

Dog & Duck Sundays

At the time that this review was written, the Dog and Duck was in the number one position already for its normal schnitties. So when we found out that they served up five dollar parmies and schnitties on Sundays, we knew we had to give it a go. After all, what did we have to lose? Five bucks? You can hardly get an ice cream for that price these days.

Obviously being a Sunday the place wasn’t packed out, although there was still a reasonable crowd. It’s always nice sitting with mates in a laid-back pub on a quiet day, enjoying a peaceful pre-church Sunday arvo schnitty.

As far as the schnitzel itself goes, no complaints here. It certainly falls well short of the quality of the schnitzel I had here last time round, but at $5 there’s only so much one can expect. The schnitzel isn’t big, but it’s meaty enough that I feel like I’ve had an ok feed. It isn’t overly flavoursome, but it’s still quite tasty overall. There is a generous amount of gravy and the chips are nicely done (albeit not plentiful). There’s no salad (save for some sort of semi-edible leaf sitting on top of the schnitty), but I can hardly accuse them of stinginess there.

Nothing amazing, but I certainly couldn’t justify giving them less than five stars for value. I’m surprised more people don’t take advantage of this offer - there are much worse places to eat on a Sunday arvo.

The Verdict: Definitely good value, but well short of the quality of the Dog’s stunning weeknight schnitty.

Taste: 3/5, Size: 3/5, Value: 5/5, Sides: 3/5, Dining Experience: 3.5/5
Overall: 70%

The Torrens Arms

www.tahotel.com.au/

I’ve always meant to go to the TA – it’s pretty close to my house, and everyone raves about how good it is since its recent refurbishment. And I can vouch for that – the place is very nicely set out, with a classic sports bar for the punters, a beer garden for those wishing to kick back and enjoy the weather over a beer, and a very tasteful restaurant for the upper-class Mitcham residents (of which there are many).

$16.50 for a schnitzel and a schooner on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Pretty decent. Unfortunately, we weren’t made aware of that until we had paid $18 for our schnitzels, eaten them, watched the whole game of cricket on the tv and walked towards the exit. Couldn’t they have told us? Terrible form. Unethical. Ah well, there are worse things in life.

The schnitzels weren’t huge, but they hit that mark of being satisfying without being too filling. That feeling of satiety after a meal, while knowing that a change in belt size isn’t necessary, is a good feeling. Mine was quite tasty and succulent, with a generous (and delicious) serving of gravy. One fellow diner thought his was a bit dry, and felt he didn’t get enough mushroom sauce with it. My two other companions were fairly satisfied with theirs though.

The chips were pretty good, although not overly plentiful. The salad was decent, although I wish they hadn’t put mayo on it. But that’s the luck of the draw. And having a complimentary (hot!) bread roll on the side is one of those little touches which makes a difference.

The Verdict: Probably more of a lunch schnitty than a dinner one, but I certainly enjoyed it.

Taste 3.5/5, Size 3/5, Value 3*/5, Sides 3.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 68%

If we’d known about the $16.50 deal, the value would have gone up to 4, giving an overall mark of 72%.

The Hilton (on South Road)

 

The Hilton Wagyu Beef Burger was recently voted Adelaide’s number one burger, and so a friend organised for a large group of us to go along one night and check it out for ourselves. Naturally, I ordered the schnitzel. It arrived on the table well presented, with an impressive accompaniment of chips and salad, and of reasonable size. Like so many other schnitzels, the quality was good without being anything special. At $15, I felt like I got value for my money. But the guys who got the burger (that is, everyone except me) were unanimous – the people who judged that burger contest were spot on. The Hilton Wagyu Beef Burger really is worth the hype.

The Verdict: The schnitty here is good value for money, although burger-lovers will find the prize-winning wagyu hard to top.

Taste: 3.5/5, Size: 3/5, Value: 4/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 74%

The Woodville Hotel (rated by a PhD candidate… what credibility!)

www.woodvillehotel.com.au

Bought- Chicken Schnitzel with gravy. Cost $13 inc. gravy ($2 extra for parmy)

Size- 2.5

Size was about 20cm x 12cm. So not very large and the chicken had been heavily

tenderised and was only about 0.5-1cm thick. The crumbing was way too much,

making the schnitty look thicker than it actually was. Very deceiving...

Taste - 3.5

The gravy aided to majority of the taste as it was real gravy made with the fat

of a roast. However, according to my colleagues, the chicken was actually quite

dry. But taste was better than I thought. My colleague had the parmy. Noted it

was left under the grill to long and had dried out a bit too much, and taste

was average. They gave it 2.5/5.

Sides -3.5

Simple salad with hollandaise or french dressing. Small but ok.

Chips - didn't come pre-salted. But tasted Ok, similar style to KFC chips.

Portion was a tad small.

Value - 3

at a cost of $13, size of schnitty was proportional to the cost. However, the

hospital cafe also makes a schnitty of only slightly less quality, but same

size for $8.90. At a cost of $15 for a parmy, value would be a 2/5

Experience - 2

We were in the front bar, next to a busy main road. So noisy. Sort of felt like

we were in a country bogan bar. However, you can also get served in the dinning

section, which I'm sure would have been much better. Also, a bogan burped

really loudly next to us.

Todd Matthews

PhD Candidate

Discipline of Surgery (TQEH)

University of Adelaide

The Verdict: You heard the doc… give it a miss. Hospital one sounds like good value though…

Taste: 2.5/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 3.5/5, Sides: 3/5, Dining Experience: 2/5
Overall: 58%

The British Hotel

www.britishhotel.com.au/

Hate to spoil the ending in the first sentence, but this was a bit of a let-down. The pub itself was decent – friendly staff, good range of drinks, casual vibe – but the schnitzel less so. For a start, the restaurant doesn’t even do schnitzels – you can only get them in the pub. The staff kindly let me have a schnitzel in the restaurant, which was good of them. I paid an extra $5, which meant that it came to $19.90 total, which is fair enough. But for what I received, even $14.90 would seem a bit of a rip-off.

The schnitzel was quite thin and had more crumbing than meat. It was soggy on the outside, dry on the inside, and was drenched in a wine jus that didn’t quite agree with my palate. The schnitzel was curled at the edges, and looked like it had been left to soak in the deep-fryer overnight. It still tasted ok – let’s face it, schnitzels are awesome by definition, so it’s pretty hard for them to score less than 50% - but I wouldn’t be going back for another in a hurry. On the other hand, the steaks that my fellow diners ordered seemed pretty good – there were certainly no complaints from any of them.

The chips and salad were ok, but not even a perfect score for sides could have saved the British from a scathing review.

The restaurant itself is well set out – indoors, but with quite an outdoor décor and a lot of natural light. The menu is full of classy options, so I guess ordering the schnitzel here was a bit like going to a video store just to buy a bottle of coke – sure, you can get it, but you’d be better off going somewhere else where they specialise in it a bit more. Well, you live, you learn.

The Verdict: Come here by all means, but order something else.

Taste 2.5/5, Size 2.5/5, Value 2/5, Sides 3/5, Experience 4/5
Total 56%

The Crown & Sceptre

www.sceptre.com.au/

The Crown and Sceptre, located on King William Street in the city’s south, presents a classic case of why a book should never be judged by its cover. It’s not the classiest looking joint around, certainly not the sort of place you’d expect to see corporate high-flyers trying to impress their clientele. But the schnitzels, we can report, offer close to the best value for money that you are ever likely to see. Ten dollar schnitzels all day Tuesdays and Thursdays, as well as Saturday lunchtimes. Sauces included. Only a couple of bucks extra for a parmi. And both the schnitzels and the parmies that we consumed here were unanimously declared to be big winners.

The schnitzels weren’t massive, although they were deceptively thick, and tasted fantastic. The crumbing had good consistency, the gravy was spot on, the meat was unprocessed and tender, and the parmi toppings were absolutely top-shelf (including a blue cheese parmi that was among the evening’s specials). The chips were cooked to perfection (and not stuffed away under the schnitty to go soggy), and the accompanying salad was generous (with a superb dressing). The quality of the sides was as good as I reckon we’ve come across.

If this isn’t five stars for value, then I doubt we will ever award five stars for value. I’d normally expect to pay almost double for what I ate here.

The venue isn’t terrible, but it certainly doesn’t stack up with the Walkers Arms for ambience. A pity, because if it did, we might well be crowning a new champion. The Crown & Sceptre schnitty is an all-round winner, and one that should be on every schnitzel and parmi-lover’s to-do list.

The Verdict: For ten bucks, this was a top class feed.

Taste: 4.5/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 5/5, Sides: 4.5/5, Dining Experience: 3.5/5
Overall: 84%

The Lion

www.thelionhotel.com

The Lion frequently seems to get mentioned whenever award-winning restaurants in Adelaide are discussed. So we thought it was worth coming along to see what the hype was all about. I’ve always liked the Lion – the restaurant is perhaps a little classy for the likes of me, but the bar and casual dining area has a lot going for it.

Our meals came out very quickly. Except for Ben’s. We finished ours, and his still hadn’t arrived. When it finally came, the staff were very apologetic and gave him a free drink. No hard feelings. The schnitzels were worth waiting for – they were fantastic. The quality was outstanding – this was real chicken, crumbed and cooked to perfection. The sort of meal so good that you never want it to end. The size was probably the most disappointing aspect, although it was still quite thick, and I certainly didn’t feel skimped. At $18, the value for money was much better than I had expected. The ‘fat chips’, as they were described in the menu, were very much to our liking.

The Verdict: A quality schnitzel, as you’d expect at such a fine establishment.

Taste: 5/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 4/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 82%

Hotel Broadway

No doubt the name of this place promotes expectations that it is a much grander place than it is in reality. The restaurant is quite nice, and the front bar has a decent, laidback ambience to it, but there is nothing Hollywood about this place. The large pokies room and the corner of the bar devoted to betting on horse races kind of detracts from the overall experience. How can I enjoy a schnitty while feeling bad about all the problem gamblers around me?

The service was quite good, and the schnitzel was – how would I put this? – quite unique. I had never seen- nor tasted - a schnitzel quite like it. Nothing unusual about the meat (although it was quite moist), or the chips (which were decent, but unfortunately tucked away under the schnitzel), or the salad (although it was a good size, the dressing was very nice, and it came with a bread roll), or the gravy (provided in a separate ladle – extra points for that). But the crumbing – I can’t really explain it, it just had a really original taste and appearance. It had a kind of savoury pancake taste to it. The important thing was, it tasted good. I guess that’s what it all comes down to. I was happy with the size, although it wasn’t exactly huge. It was meaty enough to not leave me feeling like I’d just eaten a ball of dough. At $17 plus an extra buck for gravy, I reckon it was a decent feed for what I paid.

The Verdict: Something a little different, but a schnitty is a schnitty. And I enjoyed this one.

Taste 4/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 3.5/5, Sides 4/5, Experience 3.5/5
Total 74%

The Kent Arms

A little bit out of the way from the myriad of restaurants on nearby Melbourne Street and North Adelaide, the Kent Arms is an ideal place for a group meal. There is enough of a pub-like atmosphere to make people feel at ease, and sufficient spacing between tables to ensure a bit of privacy. The waiter we had was a real top bloke, providing friendly and energetic service – he really made us feel loved, you know? The schnitzel wasn’t particularly large, but the quality was quite high, and the taste was certainly impressive. At $17, it wasn’t a bad investment. So if you’re after a quiet meal with friends, and a quality-without-completely-filling-you-up feed, the Kent Arms would be up there on my list of recommendations. All of the other meals seemed equally tasty and well presented – there were no complaints about quality, ambience or service. A very pleasant evening.

The Verdict: Not hanging off the plate, not cheap, but not a bad meal. An enjoyable dining experience.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 3/5, Value: 3.5/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 74%

The Avoca

www.avocahotel.com.au

Ten-dollar Schnitzels is a pretty difficult temptation to resist, even if I know deep down that the quality will be low. So I finally caved in and took advantage of the Avoca’s Tuesday night special. I’m not sure if I gained a huge advantage out of it. The taste wasn’t particularly great – the meat was about as thin and processed as I could handle without failing it on taste. The schnitzel was as rigid as a block of wood. The size was reasonable for ten dollars, but the lack of thickness was telling. The chips and salad were nothing to sneeze at – credit where it’s due, the gravy came in a separate bowl, and the chips weren’t hidden under the schnitty. And apart from some questionable music video clips being shown on the tv, the dining experience here was actually pretty good. We walked through the main restaurant on the way to the bar, and it looked very impressive, while the bar itself had a good atmosphere.

Look, for ten dollars it was alright. It’s a pretty decent place, with bars, restaurant and good outdoor seating. And the meals aren’t expensive here at all. Maybe the schnitzels are better on other nights, I don’t know. We can only rate what we get on our plate (excuse my poetry).

The Verdict: Pretty bland, but I guess I wasn’t ripped off…

Taste: 2.5/5, Size: 3/5, Value: 3.5/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 66%

The Benjamin on Franklin

www.benjaminonfranklin.com.au/

I’ll admit, I was a bit hesitant about eating at the Benjamin. I’ve heard nothing but negative stories from people who have eaten here, about how the food is average, the service lousy, and the restaurant way too pretentious. But now, based on my own experience, I would have to disagree.

The place has got quite a unique feel to it – very much a nineteenth century feel. It’s definitely classier than your average western city restaurant. The service was fantastic, and the meals arrived at our table in good time. So far so good.

The schnitzel is deceptively thick, and about as tender as you will ever get. I cannot imagine a less processed schnitty. It’s delicious. The chips aren’t stuffed underneath the schnitzel, but are presented neatly on the other half of the plate – why can’t other places get this right? The chips are quite nice, and the serving is certainly generous. The salad is as a salad should be – simple but not stingy, a nice dressing, served in a little cup on the side.

At $18 all up, this is certainly right up there for value. The only thing I could possibly fault them on is smearing the gravy all over the crumbing, which causes it to fall apart somewhat. Still, a minor blemish on what is a fantastic meal.

The Verdict: Never take second-hand criticism as gospel. This schnitty ticks every box.

Taste: 4.5/5, Size: 4/5, Value: 4/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 82%

Fasta Pasta

Perhaps a bit unfair, since people generally don’t walk into Fasta Pasta intending to order a schnitzel. Kinda like choosing the salad at Maccas really. But if a restaurant has schnitzel or parmi on the menu, then as far as we’re concerned, it’s fair game to be reviewed. At $16.90 for a schnitzel or a parmi, the price was competitive. The meal was delivered in reasonable time (not so long that I got bored, not so quickly that I suspected it had been pre-cooked and reheated), and was well-presented. The schnitzel itself wasn’t huge, nor was it particularly flavoursome (the restaurant didn’t have any gravy because, well, nobody has gravy with their pasta. Fair enough, I guess), but the chips were of a very high quality. I would go as far as to say that the chips were up there with the best I have had so far on this journey. At Fasta Pasta of all places. The salad was simple, but the presence of cherry tomatoes was a nice touch. The restaurant itself had a pleasant environment – it was spacious enough to hold a conversation with fellow diners, although not the classy sort of place I would select to impress a girl. Overall, I didn’t regret getting the schnitzel, but I wouldn’t rave about its quality or quantity.

The Verdict: If, like me, you find yourself in a pasta restaurant when you don’t like pasta, this schnitty isn’t the worst going around.

Taste: 3/5, Size: 2.5/5, Value: 3/5, Sides: 4.5/5, Dining Experience: 3.5/5
Overall: 66%

Earl of Leicester… the restaurant (Round 2)

www.earl.com.au

There were a couple of eyebrows raised after our last Leicester review. Some people thought that we had been overly critical. Others suggested that we try the restaurant instead of the bar. Well, we took the latter suggestion on board, and it turned out to be a winning decision. Our keen followers will recall that our schnitzel in the Earl of Leicester Liars Bar a couple of months ago lost a few marks for sides. However, the much higher quality of chips that accompanied the restaurant schnitzel, plus the presence of a fine salad bar, ensured that there could be no such complaints this time around.

I had pencilled in ‘5’ in the size column before I even entered the restaurant, and I was not let down. Once again, the Leicester served us up monster-sized portions, which left us all nursing our respective food babies for at least a week. The quality of the schnitzels was better than I remembered it last time around and although the prices came in at over the $20, you certainly couldn’t fault the value-for-money.

The variety of toppings here is legendary. Think of a possible schnitzel topping, and it is on offer at the Earl. The menu features practically half a page of toppings to choose between, and some of them are just ridiculous – it’s like a pizza on top of a toasted sandwich on top of a schnitzel which must’ve taken at least two whole chickens to make.

For all the damage that my heart, waistline and blood pressure sustained tonight, I’m still calling tonight a winner.

The Verdict: Yep, that was pretty good. The restaurant is the place to go. Your local cardiology unit might be the next place to go.

Taste 4/5, Size 5/5, Value 4/5, Sides 4.5/5, Experience 4/5
Total 86%

Note – it should be pointed out that one of the schnitzels in the photos below (the one which isn’t hanging off every side of the plate) is actually the smaller $15 schnitzel.

Second Note – Hats off to Matt, who ate a seven course bakery lunch (I’m not even kidding), and backed it up with a full-size parmi for dinner. A true testament to the ability of the human stomach to cope with severe over-nourishment.

The Walkers Arms

www.walkersarms.com.au

Best Restaurant award for 2011, as judged by whoever adjudicates those sort of things. The Walkers Arms also took out gongs for best redeveloped restaurant and most environmentally friendly restaurant, plus a whole lot of other prizes that I couldn’t be bothered remembering. Mainly because they don’t have much to do with the reason that I came here, which was to eat a schnitzel. My point is, though, that this place has won its fair share of awards, and then some.

And to be honest, it’s a pretty nice place. I can’t recall eating a schnitzel in nicer surroundings. The outdoor drinking/dining section is modern and inviting (lots of plants, giving it a very lively feel), and inside the restaurant is very schmick indeed. The architecture inside and out adds to the ambience, and the staff are very polite. All in all, much to like.

There is much to like about the schnitty as well. $18.90 + $1.50 for gravy is a bit above average, but I didn’t feel ripped off with what I got. The schnitzel had a thick, tasty herb coating, but also had a decent thickness of meat as well. Overall, the texture and taste were both quite good. And the gravy was sensational – thick and very rich. The chips were terrific – had there been more of them, it would have been pushing a perfect five for sides. The salad was more asian greens salad than typical garden salad, but went quite well with the rest of the meal.

It wasn’t a hugely filling meal, but I left feeling satisfied – it was a quality feed. Ben ordered the Walkers Special parmi, which had a very generous ham, bacon, cheese and nap sauce topping – he certainly had no complaints. All in all, a successful night at the office.

The Verdict: Not standout value, but a quality meal – and a fantastic venue.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 3/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 4.5/5
Overall: 74%

Roaring 40s, Angaston

This place in the Barossa Valley is famous for it’s pizzas, many of which have won awards for their quality. It was tough to pass up the opportunity to try one for myself, but I have an obligation to rate a schnitzel wherever I go. And at $22, I was hoping it was gonna be pretty good.

My initial reaction was one of disappointment when a tiny little schnitzel was placed in front of me. By the time I had cut off a piece to give to each of my three dining companions, most of my schnitty was gone. What remained on my plate was quite a succulent, tender and tasty piece of crumbed meat – at twice the size and half the price, I would have raved about it for weeks.

To be fair, the $22 price-tag also includes the option of two indulgent topping choices – including cheese, bacon, avocado, tomato and a whole host of other goodies. So you’re pretty much getting a pizza on top of a tiny schnitzel, which ends up being a pretty decent meal.

The chips and salad were quite nice without being extraordinary, and the restaurant itself has quite a nice feel to it. I guess the fact that it is famous for its pizzas is a fair indicator that they don’t put as much effort into their schnitzels, which I suppose is fair enough. Overall, the quality of the meal itself was quite good, but size and value were where the marks were lost.

Seriously, come here and have a pizza. It’s a lovely little country town restaurant, with great character, terrific atmosphere and famously delicious pizza.

The Verdict: Perhaps I should have just bitten the bullet and gone with the award-winning pizza…

Taste 4/5, Size 2/5, Value 2.5/5, Sides 3/5, Experience 4/5
Total 62%

The Elephant

http://www.paddymaguires.com/adelaide/theelephant

Without being extraordinary, the schnitzels at the Elephant tick every box. A decent size, quite tasty, a good crisp crumbing while still having a respectable meat-to-crumb ratio. The chips are fantastic – very, very salty, which I guess is not to everyone’s taste, but I certainly don’t mind. You get a lot of gravy with your meal, and quite a generous salad on the side. And to top it all off, the Elephant is a great pub – as long as it’s not too crowded, it’s a fantastic place for a feed.

At $15.90, plus $1.50 for sauces, you’re not paying a lot for what is a pretty good meal. The only downside is that you wake up the next morning tasting nothing but salt. Totally worth it though!

The Verdict: A quality pub, which has nailed this pub classic.

Taste: 4/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 4/5, Sides: 4/5, Dining Experience: 4.5/5
Overall: 80%

The Stirling Hotel

www.stirlinghotel.com.au

The Stirling Hotel definitely has a good feel to it. Not a massive place, and perhaps the restaurant is crammed in a bit too tightly, but overall it’s an enjoyable place to eat. The main restaurant area is quite sophisticated (without every meal costing $40), and there is a more casual dining area in the next room over where there’s always sport on the big screen. Plenty of outdoor seating as well, perfect for those balmy Stirling nights.

Most of the meals that arrived on our table looked pretty good, and the schnitties were no exception. A tad thin, perhaps, and a little pricey at $20 (including parmi / gravy), but a nice meal nonetheless. The taste was fantastic, the texture was excellent (no loose crumbing here), the chips and salad were both to everyone’s liking. The amount of chips on the plate was definitely higher than average. Too often I find myself short-changed in the chip department. Most of the chips weren’t stuffed underneath the schnitzel, which was nice. And the gravy came separately – a definite bonus.

The Verdict: Nice restaurant, quality schnitzel. Worth a go next time you’re up that way, but don’t plan a trip just for this schnitzel.

Taste 4.5/5, Size 3.5/5, Value 3/5, Sides 4/5, Experience 4/5
Total 76%

 

Hotel Tivoli

http://www.hoteltivoli.com.au/

We walked through the doors with high expectations, which is always dangerous. A fellow schnitzel connoisseur had informed us that the schnitzels here were the best she (yes, we have female friends) had ever had. At $18 all up, our meals didn’t exactly put us in debt, and what we got on our plates was well worth the trip.

We don’t give out perfect fives for taste at the drop of a hat, but the Tivoli schnitzel is guaranteed to satisfy any worthy palate. 100% chicken breast, moist, flavoursome, perfectly crumbed – this was indeed a fine specimen. It was quite thick – it certainly hadn’t been flattened to a pulp like some schnitzels are. The chips and salad did not quite match the quality of the schnitzel itself, but were still of a good standard. The bar where we ate didn’t have a lot going for it (although I’ve eaten in the main restaurant on a separate occasion and quite enjoyed it – the salmon is magnificent, but I digress) ambience-wise, but it certainly didn’t detract from what was a fantastic meal.

Not quite the best we’ve ever had, but certainly right up there. You never know, if they’d bothered to provide the gravy separately and hadn’t smothered the chips underneath the schnitty, we might just have crowned a new champion…

The Verdict: A fine feed, I must say. If a friend of yours tells you it’s a good place to eat, believe them.

Taste: 5/5, Size: 4/5, Value: 4/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 3.5/5
Overall: 80%

 

The Ramsgate Hotel

www.ramsgatehotel.com.au

I’ve only ever remembered the Ramsgate Hotel as being the place where all the Crows and Port players got in a fight ten years ago. However, it seemed like a waste to go to Henley Beach and not eat a schnitzel there, so I decided to pop in.

The Ramsgate is located just a short drop punt away from Henley Square – perfect location, in other words. The hotel has a spacious bar area with an impressive range of beers, as well as a formal dining section and outdoor seating. We went on a Thursday arvo, meaning that it was fairly quiet, but the place still had a good atmosphere to it.

We were informed upon arrival that today was $10 schnitzel day. Music to my ears. Even going a parmi didn’t incur any additional charge. So far so good. And for ten dollars, I wasn’t disappointed with what I received. The schnitty wasn’t huge but it was still quite tasty, and had enough chicken inside to make me feel like I wasn’t just munching on a plate of fried bread crumbs. The salad was fairly simple and the chips were ok – although there weren’t many, and they were tucked away under the schnitzel.

The schnitzels are normally $16.90, with the choice of going a mega schnitzel for an additional three bucks. From what the waiter told me, I gather that the ten-dollar Thursday schnittys are the same as the regular $16.90 ones, while the ‘mega’ ones are only marginally bigger. So it seems like Thursdays are the day to go there, from a value-for-money point of view.

Overall, this was quite a decent lunch schnitzel. Cheap, tasty, easy on the belly (I felt satisfied, but not violated – always a good way to be), but nothing fantastic. A nice place to go after a morning at the beach.

The Verdict: Not too heavy on my wallet or my tummy, pretty good for ten bucks.

Taste 3.5/5, Size 3/5, Value 4/5, Sides 3/5, Experience 4/5
Total 70%

The Bombay Bicycle Club

www.bombaybicycleclub.com.au

The funny thing about this Indian restaurant is that there are absolutely no Indians whatsoever. The waiters are all white guys, the bar staff are all pretty blonds, every diner is Caucasian. It probably doesn’t say much for the genuine ‘Indian-ness’ of the food here. Good thing I’m getting a chicken schnitty then!

The restaurant here is quite good, and the Rikki Tikki Tavi Bar is ok, although they’ve just tried a bit too hard with the whole Indian, jungle-themed décor. It’s a unique venue though, and there certainly is a novelty factor to this place. I could probably buy the whole Indian jungle theme if they at least had some Indian music playing, but instead there is a juke-box which is blasting out copious volumes of Britney Spears and Rihanna, at the request of the buffoons at the table next to us. The overall experience is further ruined by our meals (there are seven of us) being brought out to us over a fifteen minute period. Since mine was the last one to arrive, and I’m writing the review, they will be shown no mercy.

Enough about the boring stuff though, let’s talk about the schnitzel. At $18.90 plus an extra couple of dollars for gravy, it isn’t cheap. It is impressive in size – not Alehouse-standard, but certainly up there with the largest I’ve seen. The taste is slightly bland, given its processed nature, but the gravy is good enough to make up for that. The crumb coating holds together well, and has good texture. The chips and salad are pretty good, although nothing extraordinary. Chips hidden under the schnitty yet again, but that seems to be the norm at most places. Salad and gravy each served in a separate dish, which is nice.

Across the table, Liam has ordered a tandoori parmi (pictured), which looks, smells and (apparently) tastes fantastic. “Why don’t they have these everywhere?” I hear him ponder. There is a large variety of toppings on offer – pretty much any combo of cheese, bacon, Worcestershire sauce, ham, pineapple, bbq sauce, chilli, Napoli sauce, pepperoni, tiger prawns, onion and cream cheese. Impressive.

The extensive range of Indian meals and pub classics on the menu ensures that the Bombay Bicycle Club should be able to please pretty much anyone who would be likely to eat in a bar. And although the schnitzel quality wasn’t through the roof, you get a pretty good feed.

The Verdict: Quantity over quality perhaps, but a good feed nonetheless.

Taste: 3/5, Size: 4.5/5, Value: 3/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 3.5/5
Overall: 70%

 

The Scenic Hotel

www.scenichotel.com.au

The Scenic Hotel has a very cosy, country pub feel to it, despite only being five minutes up Norton Summit Road. It feels like you’re hours out of town, which is quite nice after a long day at work. The restaurant itself is very intimate, with only a couple of tables in each room, providing a great sense of privacy and tranquillity. The view over the hills from the balcony is sensational. 

The Scenic gets extra credit for A) having two schnitzel nights per week (clearly they recognise the important things in life) and B) having four different types of schnitzel available. In addition to your token chicken and beef schnitzels, the Scenic also offers kangaroo and – yes, you are not mis-reading this – an eggplant schnitzel.

Naturally we chose one of the schnitzel nights (Wednesday, I believe – Tuesday is the other night), and took advantage of the $13 meals on offer. And for that price, they were excellent. My kangaroo schnitzel was pretty similar to a normal beef schnitzel, although the kangaroo flavour gives it a little extra. A much-welcome patriotic spin on a pub classic. The crumb-to-meat ratio was perhaps a little high but, aside from that, difficult to fault. Everybody who got the chicken schnitzel was also very satisfied. The meat was thick, tender, unprocessed and nicely crumbed. The taste was pretty close to a perfect five. The chips and salad were also to everyone’s satisfaction, although I don’t know why 90% of restaurants insist on hiding the chips underneath the schnitty.

The eggplant schnitzel was predictably average but hey, points for trying. At least they’re extending a hand of friendship to our vegetarian brothers and sisters.

The desserts here are also definitely worth a look.

The Verdict: A nice drive, a nice place, a nice schnitzel, a mighty fine night. Give it a go.

Taste: 4.5/5, Size: 3.5/5, Value: 4/5, Sides: 3.5/5, Dining Experience: 4/5
Overall: 78%

 

The Bath Hotel

www.bathhotel.com.au

I wanted to give this place a good score. Really, I did. The hotel is very nicely set up – classy restaurant, tasteful bar, spacious beer garden, great location on the Parade. Our waitress was really friendly and helpful (and quite attractive, which always seems to happen when I eat out with my parents), telling us about all the specials of the day (of which there were about twenty – all sorts of classy stuff like venison fillet and twice-cooked leg of duck, with all manner of accompanying vegetables, dressings and garnishing with unpronounceable French names. Of course, I already knew what I was going to order.

My mother, father and grandmother all ordered the sorts of meals that any normal person would order at a classy restaurant. And they all arrived on the table looking fantastic. My schnitzel, however, was disappointment on a dinner plate. It was the size of my hand, the meat was tasteless and flattened to oblivion, the chips were average and sparse (and hidden underneath what there was of my schnitty), the salad was ok but nothing amazing (the dressing tasted pretty cheap), the crumbing looked like it had been glued to the meat, and was falling off with every incision I made. And at $18.50 + $2 for gravy, this was definitely not a winner. Might go the duck a l’orange or the ox tail next time…

The Verdict: If you go to a fancy restaurant, order a fancy meal. They never seem to do schnitties right.

Taste 2/5, Size 2/5, Value 1.5/5, Sides 3/5, Experience 4/5
Total 50%

The Hyde Park Tavern

http://www.hydeparktavern.com.au/

The Hyde Park Tavern is a fairly sophisticated pub, not surprising given its location. The bar is fairly spacious, the service quite good and the restaurant has quite a classy feel to it. Given that it was a week before Christmas, there wasn’t a lot of space in the dining area, and so the restaurant was a bit too noisy to allow free-flowing conversation. Also, my seat had a direct view of a room filled with nothing but kegs of beer. Not particularly enticing. But above that there was a television showing the cricket on Foxtel, so it would be poor form for me to complain too much.

Enough about minor details though. The schnitzel was $17.90, plus an extra dollar for gravy. It wasn’t particularly large or thick, although I certainly wasn’t disappointed with the size. The taste, like the size, was satisfactory without being incredible. There was perhaps a bit too much (oily) crumbing for my liking, but at least none of the schnitzel was dry or overcooked.

I was happy with the salad that accompanied my meal. Most of the chips were hidden under the schnitzel, which I wasn’t impressed with. However, I do prefer having gravy provided in a separate little bowl, rather than being poured all over the schnitty, so I was happy that they got that right.

Overall, the schnitzel-eating experience at the Hyde Park Tavern was satisfying, although it certainly won’t be a challenger for Adelaide’s best schnitty.

The Verdict: Yet another ok schnitzel.

Taste 3.5/5, Size 3/5, Value 3/5, Sides 4/5, Experience 3.5/5
Total 68%